Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I have fence marks all over my body
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
