I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I love having hate sex.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
