I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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