I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
