Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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