Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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