Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
