My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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