Whod you bang
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
