do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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