I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
