You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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