please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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