I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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