what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
