I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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