We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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