Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
