oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
