it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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