I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
