guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
