Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
