he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize