doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
