Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
