She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize