Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
