Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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