I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Slut skills are useful in every country.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
