OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
