I wannas sexs uuuuu
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
