I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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