So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
