im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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