dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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