even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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