I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
