Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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