Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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