David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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