Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
