i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Is it penis luge time yet?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
