...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
