He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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