Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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