Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I got inside last night via doggy door
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
