I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
