Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
