She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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