I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
