I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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