I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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