Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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