don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
