True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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