Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
as a side note pls kill me
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize