Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
try to milk me bitch
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