So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
